Just over a month ago, I wrote an eulogy on the career of Kyle Busch, my favorite driver since I could form a thought. 

It was a striking time for me, as Busch’s career was hitting a low-point I never thought possible, so I put together my thoughts in hopes of coming to terms with where he was. Toward the end of that piece, I compared Busch to an old dog, who fans needed to enjoy while we still had him as an active member of the field, and even offered to host a cookout for fans.

 “It’s better that we, as KFB fans, take this time to enjoy every radio crashout, every intentional spin of Herbst and good finish because there will come a day, sooner than we think, that it’s gone,” I wrote on April 15.

I wish these words weren’t so haunting.

Busch passed away at 41 years old last Thursday, stunning the entire motorsports world and bringing mine to a standstill. Even as the texts poured in and the tributes brought tear after tear to my eye, I didn’t believe it. 

“That can’t be, he just won a week ago, what do you mean he’s gone?” I thought.  

Thoughts like those persisted, racing through my mind as it felt like the world had opened and swallowed me whole, taking me to a place so dark I couldn’t see in front of me. This was a tragedy and sitting at my desk, all I knew was that my heart hurt for Busch’s family, his fellow drivers and my fellow fans.

On some level, that mixture of hurt and disbelief persists even after a week and bawling my eyes out before the Coke 600, but that’s not how I want to remember Kyle “Rowdy” Busch. While the hurt will be with the NASCAR community forever and the time for tears will never subside, I want to remember Busch as the driver who made me fall in love with NASCAR and the example man he became.

I’ve never met Kyle Busch, but everyone that knows me knows his name

Unlike many tributes you’ll read from fans, I’ve never met Busch, never gotten an autograph, or even been in the same room as him. Yet, one of the brilliant things about sports is that I didn’t need to for him to become one of my heroes.

While it started off as simply rooting for the driver who donned the candy car and won races, Busch’s on-track personality was hard to ignore as I grew up. Whether it be the looks of disdain when I told fellow NASCAR fans that he was my favorite driver or the endless cheers I heard at the track when he wrecked out, by the time I was old enough to understand what a heel was, I realized I was rooting for one.

That can be a tough thing to come to terms with as a young kid, but Busch leaned into it in a way that just made you root for him. Right down to his signature bow celebration, he was a braggadocious driver who won enough to back it up day in and day out.

As a very socially awkward youngster, this was what elevated Busch for me. The confidence, the talent and the unparalleled dissatisfaction for losing are things that I still admire about him to this day. That’s part of why I endured the laughter of peers at my neon yellow M&Ms jacket and bright red Skittles hat, because Busch never backed down from those moments.

“If you don’t like that kind of racing, don’t even watch.”

There are so many quotes from Busch that I use nearly every day, but I keep coming back to this one after a thrilling 2018 Chicagoland race where he beat Kyle Larson to claim one of his 63 Cup Series victories. With adrenaline running through his veins and confidence sky high, he taunted the crowd in a way that only he could: wiping away fake tears and telling fans who didn’t want to see him win to turn off their TVs.

While I always admired Busch for his confidence in moments like this, I gotta say, it helped to win. Busch was all about winning and so I don’t believe a proper tribute article is complete without talking about some of my favorite Busch wins.

2013 Auto Club

While I doubt Busch would hardly want to be remembered for a win he backed into, this was the first win that I remember vividly. I was sitting on my grandparents’ couch watching the race with Denny Hamlin and Joey Logano leading with Busch in third place. I was resigned to a loss despite Busch having one of the strongest cars all day. 

On the last lap, Hamlin and Logano collided, allowing Busch to slip through for his first win of the season. I was enraptured by this ending; when I tell you it had a grip on me as a 10-year-old, I mean it. The following weekday I was at my mother’s office and watching this finish highlight on repeat. Some days it was just meant to be for KFB.

2015 Championship

Really, this race is a stand-in for the entire 2015 season, which started in disaster when Busch broke his leg at Daytona. What followed was one of the most inspiring seasons of all time as Busch returned on a tear, winning the Brickyard and three other races, ultimately finding his way to the Championship 4.

This race was like the culmination of a movie, with Busch managing to take the lead late and outrunning the field to win his first championship. The last 20 laps set behind the Homestead sunset stand out vividly in my mind as my brother stood beside my anxious 12-year-old self. That green, crunchy M&Ms car remains an icon in my mind, despite being a one-season deal. 

2023 Auto Club

Oh yeah, who needs Joe Gibbs Racing, am I right, guys? This race was a miracle from start to finish, cementing in my mind that unc still had it. As my home state’s only oval, Auto Club always had a special place in my heart that has only grown as the track has been worn down. 

With this being one of Busch’s final wins and how he fought against the odds to do so, it stands out as the peak of his time with Richard Childress Racing.

“You never know when your last one is,” Busch said following his win at Dover, his final win.

The only thing Busch loved more than racing

His family. 

One of the things that stands out the most following Busch’s passing is how much we’ve discovered about him. How much his competitors respected him, how much his love for family helped him mature and how much he cared for those around him.

From Bubba Wallace tearing up about his time at Kyle Busch Motorsports to Daniel Suarez revealing how much Busch helped him in his first season, this guy meant more to the garage than we ever knew. 

It makes the heart hurt even more, knowing that those closest to him will be forced to continue without him. While he was a legend and hero to me, he was also a teammate, a friend and a father. Those are the people whom I think of when tears swell, and I hope they can find the strength to live in his honor.

“KFB”

Despite typing over 1,000 words in remembrance of the greatest NASCAR driver I’ve ever known, his passing still doesn’t feel real. A titan of an entire sport, father of two, a wife to one and hero to thousands cruelly and unfairly taken away before anyone has the time to properly process the idea of a world without him.

It’s a lesson in life that we all unfortunately have to learn, and it never gets easier, not in the slightest. As we continue to remember him and push ourselves through the grief, I hope that we’re all able to keep a little Rowdy side in all of us forever.